Today my baby is 19 months old. I can't even believe it. 19 months did not get off to a good start. I was literally up at 19 months to the minute to when she was born. It was a long night...followed by a long day since Miss S was in no mood to nap alone. She spent her nap in my bed clutching to me. Let's hope tonight is not a repeat.
I honestly don't know where to begin. The past month alone has flown by, let's face it, my baby is closer to 2yrs old than 1yr old. We are in a totally different age bracket. 18-24 months. Practically out of the baby department and into the toddler/girl department. Yikes.
There are still "baby flashbacks" though. Lots of them actually, and I cherish each one.
While we do have words (even if we are the only ones that understand them), we still have lots of baby babble, and gosh is that priceless. She will literally babble on, laugh and keep going like, "Do you get it Momma? Aren't I funny?!"
Whenever she nurses, closes her eyes and snuggles in close, I remember my sweet newborn. She sweet, warm breath on my skin brings back all those new mom, newborn, head over heels in love memories.
When she takes my hand to walk up or down the stairs, I remember not so long ago when I had to hold her hands to help her walk.
Every step takes her further into toddlerhood and away from being my little baby. If I am being honest, each step brings her closer to being a real little girl. I look at her sometimes I think that I can't get rid of her bangs because then she really will look like a little girl. She's so tall that she often gets mistaken for older than she is.
PS- that makes buying pants a PAIN. They are either the right length but HUGE in the waist, or they are flood pants. Thank God for babylegs and cloth diapers, one to add length to her pants, the other to add a little booty.
Will I ever stop being amazed at how fast she grows? She takes my breath away. My heart beats a little faster when I think about how in two short years she will be going to school. All day, every day, away from me. Reading, writing, making friends, having sleepovers. For now I will just cherish sticky baby kisses and bear hugs. I will cherish the (very) early morning (or late night) snuggles and remember that they truly wont last forever, because sooner than I 'd like to admit, it wont be "cool" to hold hands and give countless hugs and kisses anytime, anywhere. Soon she wont need, or want, my snuggles to fall asleep, or even in the early morning light before we start our day. 19 months ago I was holding my newborn in my arms, never imagining the amazing little girl she would become. 19 months ago I was the mother of a newborn baby girl, tiny and squishy and totally dependent on me. 19 months ago I became a mother and realized what it felt like to truly love; I realized what it was to have a piece of myself, a piece of my heart, in my arms.
So, while last night and this morning...and this afternoon, I had to keep thinking of LML moments to keep from crying for lack of sleep, at this moment, sitting by myself, enjoying the quiet, I am reminded how lucky I am for every motherhood moment, the easy and the hard (though the easy are more fun). I am so fortunate to have not only my beautiful baby girl, but my beautiful big girl, and am so grateful that my girls are surrounded by love. 19 months ago my family went to sleep as a family of four. We were forever changed by a tiny bundle of pink who still fills our days with laughter and love. Happy 19 months my little Petunia Picklebottom. Momma loves you.
No comments:
Post a Comment