Baby's 4 Letter Word

Until I had a toddler, I never thought I would ever tire of hearing the word, “Mama.”

Then my baby became a toddler and started chattering nonstop. The chatter I love. It is so endearing and sweet. The excited, “Mama!” I get when I come home, or the snuggly, “Awwww, Mama,” I get when she comes in for a hug and kiss, I love. What I don’t love so much is the shrill, persistent, “MAMA” I have been hearing for the past week or so.

MAMA!!

Yes baby?

MAMA!! MAMA!!

Yes baby? I’m listening.

Gorgy Mama! Mama! Gogry Mama!

Oh yes, I see.

MAMA!

MAMA!

MAMA!

This will go one for what seems like hours. I cannot simply acknowledge her voice and smile, I must have both eyes on her, both hands empty, and all attention directed at her. Even if she is simply showing me the same picture in the book over and over...or pointing to her socks, shoes, dolly...whatever.

MAMA!! MAMA!

I was putting on a youtube video of laughing babies for her, she thinks it’s funny, but she freaked when I turned to look at the computer to load the video. 

MAMA! Daydy Mama! Daaaaaaaydeeeeeeee!!

(Daydy is pronounced like “baby” for those not in the know.)

“Mama” has suddenly become a demand, a very loud, very shrill demand. If I try, I can look on the bright side and think, Well, at least she wants to share every moment, every little thing with me. At lease “Mama” to her means she will be acknowledged and praised.

I would just like to point out to you, baby girl, that “Dada” is just as effective. Particularly when I am in the bathroom or tub. 

Baby vs University

A girl once barfed in my hair while out with friends...There are some parallels to university and motherhood that I never expected.
It is inevitable that you will not make it through motherhood without being thrown up on at least once. You will also have to wash vomit out of your bed sheets unexpectedly at 3am, and while I never had to wash urine or poop out of my sheets as a university student (but I know people who have...), you will be doing that as well. Often more than once a night.
You will also have vomit in your hair, and it wont be your own.
You will feel overwhelmed sometimes.
You will miss your mom.

In university you are out with your friends. You interact with adults on a regular basis. You drink lattes and discuss current events. You easily pass judgement on the mother with a screaming toddler in Starbucks, rolling your eyes and thinking, "I would never allow my child to behave like that."

In motherhood you occasionally get to go out with friends with babies. The adult interaction you do get is generally to discuss baby paraphernalia...or poop. Or, if you have returned to work, you talk about work...and your baby. You give the mother with the screaming toddler a sympathetic smile as your own toddler throws her sippy cup on the floor and screams for a cookie. You glare at the 20 somethings who don't step aside for the stroller and toddler you are dragging out the door.

Funny how egg meeting sperm can change your life so completely. How someone so small and delicate can make you so strong. How in a moment, your life changes forever and everything before motherhood truly seems so small and far away.  Not insignificant, because my university years were anything but, just small. Like a speck in the grand scheme of things because being a "momma" is forever. It is life changing. It is my reason for getting up and going to work, my reason for being a better person.

20

20 months ago I had a newborn. 20 months...unreal. We currently have a "don't pay for 20 months" plan on our new bedroom furniture, it seemed like a long time when we made the purchase, but suddenly it feels like another 20 months could fly by us once again.
This time last year my baby girl wasn't even crawling yet. She was scooting and rolling, but not crawling, never mind running around the house.
This time last year my baby girl wasn't talking. We had a few signs, but other than "MAMAMAMMAMA" and "DADADADA," no "real" words.
This time last year I was shopping in the baby section, the toddler section of the store seemed like another world. Now I look at what she was wearing this time last year and the little dresses and pants look like doll clothes. How did my baby get so big?
Almost two years have passed since our family went from three to four. Almost two years since we brought our squishy newborn home and rocked to to sleep in my grandfather's cradle. Almost two years of late nights and early mornings; of diapers and car rides; of giggles and tears. It's amazing what 20 months means to me now. It is so significant, we are truly exiting the baby stage and entering toddlerhood. In no time at all we will be leaving toddlerhood behind and will have a preschooler. It's not that far off, because in another 20 months, when we are making our final payment on the furniture we just set up, Miss S will be getting ready to turn FOUR and start school.
20 months of love and snuggles and big baby kisses. I can't wait to see what comes next.

The Sweetest Sound

I feel as though I should give my little darling a more loving, motherly post today, because at 4:30 this morning, I was not feeling motherly. I wasn't even feeling human. Being woken by hysterical screaming that even a big hug and kiss can't fix...SUCKS.
But this is a happy post, because I just spent 20 minutes putting Miss S down. She was snoring in 5, but I couldn't help but hold her close, listening to her stuffy nose snores, feel her warm body in my arms as we rocked in the chair, soft music playing gently in the background. It was one of those movie moments, you know the ones. The moments you see in the movies all too often that make motherhood look easy and give the impression that sleeping like a baby is actually a good thing.
It was the sweetest sound, my baby's breathing, the piano in the background, the soft creak of an old wooden rocking chair. It was one of those moments that made it seem like 4:30am didn't happen. A movie moment that washed away the stress of the day, the ache in my head, the exhaustion in my eyes. These moments are fleeting and it makes me a little sad to think that one day soon, she wont want me to hold her in my arms as she falls asleep. These are the moments that make me grateful for all that I have and all that Miss S is, terrible toddler moments and all.
Night night sweet baby. See you when the sun shines (and not a moment earlier please).

Terrible Toddlers

Yesterday I was thisclose to trading in Miss S for a newer, less whiney model. I think she is defective, as though at 19 months my sweet, easy going baby's warranty is up and I am now stuck with a whiney, screeching, temperamental toddler. Anyways I can rewind to a month ago when screaming fits of rage were uncommon as opposed to unpredictable?
She had a meltdown over a pencil. That's right, a PENCIL. Not a crayon, marker, cookie...a stupid pencil. 10 minutes of screaming in the corner over a PENCIL.
Then over not wanting to sit in her high chair to eat, like to a point where we thought she was going to be sick.
Or over wanting to take her PJs off.
Or wanting to stand up in the tub.
Another popsicle.
To sit in the stroller.
To get out of the stroller.
To go for a walk.
To go back to the house.
To sit on a chair.
To have a(nother) sucker.

Those are the few things that come to mind when I think of the meltdown's in the past 72 hours...keep in mind that she was upset over the same thing on multiple occasions.
OK...say it with me...LML...
And, just so as not to end this on such a negative note...there are some pretty Terrific Toddler moments too. No need to fret mommas. they are sweet too. Especially when they,
Say new words
Point out colours, shapes, letters and animals for you
Give kisses and hugs
Chatter away
Sit on the potty
Help clean the house
Sleep through the night

Oh wait, that last one doesn't apply to us lately. Well, that's not entirely true, but waking up before the sun is up is growing old very quickly. I am having visions of being up at 5am once the clocks change.
Anyone know where to get one of those clocks that tells kids when it's ok to wake up the rest of the house? Better yet, how can I remind her that 7:30-7:30 is the ideal sleep pattern. What happened to those days? We went MONTHS on that schedule, sometimes as far as 7-8. I swear to all things holy that if my child starts sleeping till 7am straight through again, I will never complain about her sleeping ever again.

I mean really, I thought that naps equaled good nights? Lately we have been having great naps (touch wood, please don't let that have jinxed today), and early mornings. BUT, if I wake her up early form a nap, we usually have restless nights...I am telling you, it's a conspiracy against us parents on behalf of the babies of the world. It's like they have all gotten together and decided that JUST when we think we are in the clear and will be getting a full night's sleep, they will throw us for a loop. Let me tell you, it's a good thing she's cute, because I am very close to hitting my limit...too bad that she'll be able to push me right over the edge...there's no trading her in now.